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[17 Dec 2009|01:20pm]

Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the halls,

Not a creature was stirring, or making prank calls,

The booze bottles were stacked in the stadium with care,

In hopes that The Chairman soon would be there;

The Iron Googlers were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of challenges danced in their heads;

And The Acolytes, in their robes and their caps

Had just settled down for a small nanna-nap

When out in the stadium, there arose such a clatter,

They sprang from their beds to see what was the matter.

Away to the window they flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

When, what did they see come out of the fog?

But a miniature sleigh, and forty pug dogs,

With a regal driver, so wise and fair, man

They knew in a moment it must be The Chairman!

More rapid than eagles his pugdogs, they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Reschs! Now, Sideburns! Now, Manning and Whiskey!

On, Poker ! On Man-of-the-North! On, Nerdgames and Frisky!

To the top of the stadium! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So around the stadium, the pugdogs they flew,

With the sleigh full of gifts, and The Chairman too.

And then, The Acolytes heard on the floor

The prancing and shuffling of each little paw

As they drew back their hands, and were turning around,

To the floor of the Stadium, The Chairman, he bound.

He was dressed all in black, from his head to his boot

Except for his shirt, which was paisley (and cute!)

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the booze-bottles; then turned with a jerk,

And spreading his arms, he encompassed the room

And waving his hands, cast light into the gloom

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And up they all rose like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"It’s Challenge time, get out of bed you lazy bastards”

So they did…Collapse )
13 comments|post comment

[20 Nov 2009|10:03am]

The Acolytes wept tears of utter devastation. Pride comes before a fall, and The Acolytes had grown too comfortable with the easy success of previous Google Stadiums. Their latest challenge had failed the mighty Chairman.

Their only hope was to delve back into the Stadium Archives, in the hope that they could learn from the glory days when the Chairman reigned supreme, and the Challengers were plenty.

Buried under piles of sexy underwear, whiskey bottles and strange tiny plastic bags, the ancient tomes of Google Stadiums past lay at rest. As they leafed through the pages, The Acolytes read some of the titles out to each other.

“Look, this was the famous ‘Workin' nine-to-five!’ Challenge”

“And ‘Ganbatte’! The first ever Google Stadium Challenge!”

After gazing fondly upon Challenges of yore, and pouring out a 40 for their lost Stadium homies, The Acolytes knew that a fitting tribute Challenge would be the most popular Challenge of yore.

Returning to the Stadium, The Acolytes issued their challengeCollapse )
10 comments|post comment

[13 Nov 2009|02:46pm]


The Acolytes looked guiltily at each other. What had started out as a friendly game of Hungry Hungry Hippos had turned into a vicious battle for supremacy, with every dirty trick in the book thrown at each other in the frantic effort to eat all the delicious marbles.

The beautiful Shotglass Chess Set lay in pieces across the hard stone floor, fragments glinting accusingly at The Acolytes.

They were horrorstruck. That was the fabled Chess Set upon which the Chairman had played the famous Battle of the Whisk against Apothecary Nikklis!

“It was your fault!” Yelled The Acolyte.
“NO! It was YOUR fault!” accused The Acolyte.
“I told you we should have stuck to Jenga, but nooooo, you wouldn’t listen”
“You always pick these dumb games because you SUCK AT POKER”

The room went deathly quiet.

The Acolyte stood up.

The Acolyte gave The Acolyte a cold glance, and turned and walked away.

At the door, The Acolyte paused.

“In a way, your evil words have brought some good to this place. For I now issue the next challenge, and believe me, this one is personal”

The Acolyte spoke thuslyCollapse )
8 comments|post comment

[30 Oct 2009|11:32am]

A warm summer zephyr passed through the stadium as The Acolytes opened fresh bottles of crisp cider. The setting sun painted golden stripes across the floor and a sense of peace, along with the scent of dumplings, overcame them. After long months, or was it years? In any case, time was meaningless now. After their efforts studying, translating, spreading the word, the Acolytes decided they were in need of some recreation.

They fashioned a table from a flat stone, covered in soft, green moss and fetched the Holy Pork Rinds from the kitchen.

Read more...Collapse )
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[23 Oct 2009|12:44pm]

The Acolytes slammed their fists on the long wooden table, frustrated with their inability to grasp the latest of The Chairman’s enigmatic lessons in Google Warfare. The vibrations upset the ink pot, sending a fast-flowing ebony river towards the priceless parchment. Instinctively, The Acolytes grabbed at the documents, embedding splinters from the roughly hewn table deep into their palms and fingers, needles of pain shooting through their hands. Despite this quick action, several priceless missives were swamped with ink, the illuminations and delicate calligraphy anihilated.

To fortify themselves before pulling the jagged fragments from their hands, they wandered into the cellar to pour themselves a frosty mug of delectable cider from the giant casks that inhabited the depths of The Stadium. As they crossed the dirt floor that made up the centre arena, they came upon their food supplies, strewn across the ground. Animals, taking advantage of their deep state of concentration, had torn through the week’s supply of food they had gathered only yesterday.

Needing the drink more than ever, The Acolytes made haste to the cellar. Halfway down the stairs, The Acolyte stumbled, knocking The Acolyte down the cold, shallow stairs. Over and over they tumbled, finally coming to an undignified, bruised halt against the opposite wall.

Knees shaking from pain and adrenaline, The Acolytes dragged themselves over to the nearest cider cask. Grabbing two mugs, The Acolyte twisted the tap, and held one underneath to catch the cold, revitalizing elixir. From the tap poured forth…. Nothing. Running to the next cask, they nervously rapped on the side. Empty. The next. Empty. Next. Empty. Next. Empty. The entire cellar was dust-dry.

Raising their arms, they howled at the uncaring walls; their souls a welter of pain and torment. They knew, in their heart, that the Stadium was speaking to them, giving them the next challenge.

Grasping each other by the forearms, they issued the challenge that had brought them so much painCollapse )
34 comments|post comment

[16 Oct 2009|03:08pm]

Those of you who aspire to greatness within the walls of GOOGLE STADIUM, amongst the scattered, empty cider bottles and copies of New Ideas from 1984, cast your gaze upon the visages of those who have earned their place in the history of this hallowed space.
They are… our IRON GOOGLERS.

Iron Googler Nutsack

Iron Googler Self Love

Iron Googler Dr Mc Ninja

Iron Googler Princess Schnick Schnick

Iron Googler MOTHER OF GOD

2 comments|post comment

[16 Oct 2009|11:06am]

A gentle breeze swirled through the temple, cooling the brows of The Acolytes as they meditated on the glory of Google Stadium. Surrounded by the engravings of Iron Googlers long gone, and watched by the statue of the illustrious Chairman, The Acolytes felt a peace unlike any other they had ever experienced. Truly, they were blessed.
As the time for a new challenge drew near, The Acolytes gave much thought to the best way of imbuing this utter sense of contentedness and wellbeing. Many ideas were put forward, then rejected, as they did not convey the true state of happiness one enjoys when part of Google Stadium.

Eventually, a perfect challenge was devised.

Rising to their feet, The Acolytes turned to face the statue of their beloved Chairman.

“Oh wise Chairman, please accept our humble challenge to those who would be Iron Googlers!”

As one, The Acolytes issued their challengeCollapse )
22 comments|post comment

[09 Oct 2009|04:04pm]

An echoing cry raised The Acolytes from their lazy afternoon slumber. When they confided their dreams to each other, they realized their minds had lock stepped together across the oneiric plains.

One simple theme pervaded their sleeping thoughts.

The theme was…Collapse )
11 comments|post comment

[02 Oct 2009|11:02am]

The Acolytes looked up. To their surprise, they realized they had been studying the lore of Google Stadium almost non-stop for two weeks, pausing only to eat and sleep and occasionally drink their own body weight in tasty cider.

The realization crept slowly over them that the time for a new challenge was at hand.

Their time spent in study had shown them a different side to the Chairman, and his wise ways. A side of wit and merriment, of joy and high spirits. The Chairman often embraced his more playful side, and encouraged his warriors to do the same.

As the gong rang out across the hallowed halls, The Acolytes knew that their challenge would be a tribute to the whimsical side of the beloved Chairman. A challenge that perfectly encapsulated the great jocularity of this knowledgeable sage.

As one, The Acolytes gave voice to their challenge

14 comments|post comment

Inaugral Challenge! [18 Sep 2009|12:02pm]

Brushing the dust off the hallowed tomes of Google Law, the acolytes studied day in, day out, to fully understand the task set to them.

After many weeks of work, they stood confident and tall, ready to issue their first challenge.

Turning to the tapestries, they invoked the ancient Google Warriors. A gong sounded in the silent halls of the STADIUM, it's echo bouncing off the ancient stone walls leaving a deafening silence in it's wake. The newly appointed acolytes stood amongst the settling dust, as golden sunlight fell through gaps in the roof of the temple. Great beams of purifying light striped the floor - a flock of doves, disturbed by the gong, took flight outside.

The two new appointed acolytes had found their inspiration..


...bathed in sun light for the first time in countless centuries...Collapse )
36 comments|post comment

[18 Sep 2009|11:23am]

In the worlds before The Chairman, primal chaos reigned. Heaven sought order. But the phoenix can fly only when its feathers are grown. The four worlds formed again and yet again, as endless images wheeled and passed. Time and the pure essences of Google, the moisture of the Earth, the powers of the Sun and the Moon all worked upon a certain rock, old as creation. And it became magically fertile. That first egg was named "Google Stadium". Tathagata Buddha, the Father Buddha, said, "With our searches, we make the World". Elemental forces caused the egg to hatch. From it then came The Chairman. The nature of Google Stadium was irrepressible!"

Several lifetimes later, two travelers traipsed the earth in search of the fabled Google Stadium. With nothing but a wildcard to guide them, they sought high and low, in mountains and in valleys, hoping for a glimpse of the mythical land where brave warriors did battle with the forces of Boolean to bring honor and acclaim to their beloved Chairman.

And then, after untold years of toil, in a still, hot jungle, the travelers came upon a vine-covered temple. On the wall hung tattered tapestries of austere, gallant warriors, their armor emblazoned with the symbols of the discipline they had chosen to follow. A giant bronze statue dominated the courtyard, with the words "Show me the search parameters and I will show you the man" engraved at its feet.

They had found the Google Stadium.

Creeping down the hallowed halls, the travellers could hear the ringing of blade upon LOLcat. Along the walls, a story, a familiar story, played out. Etched deeply into the permanent canvas, it told wordlessly of the rise and fall of the defiant and once idolised Iron Googlers and their beloved Chairman.

But the story continued...

Two plucky travellers, road weary, struggling valiantly through fording rivers, climbing mountains and searching through deserts. These figures struggled through a thick jungle, and towards an old temple.

The travelers turned to each other, unbelievingly. For there, upon the stone, was one, single solitary sentence, untouched by the ravages of time or weather:

Young acolytes, the challenge is now yours.
3 comments|post comment

Plugin [10 May 2008|12:24am]

Heya dudes. :-p

Let me introduce a little plugin for Google Earth written by me.
This plugin gives an opportunity to mark your friends homes, visited places with the personal photo(thumbnail), that you can add to the profile straight in the programm.
It's simple to install and easy to use.
Please feel free to leave comments :)

Link to download:

[02 Jun 2006|05:32pm]

One week, my acolytes.

Seven days.

Polish your skills.

Have patience [18 May 2006|05:27pm]

It returns...


[07 Apr 2006|10:39pm]

Once again we have found ourselves bereft of challenge. The STADIUM has been deserted. We have lost our focus. No longer do we feel inspired by the digital ether.

But we are needed.

The echoes of past triumphs have left our souls baying for fresh blood.

CHAIRMAN HAWKEYE, and my fellow IRON GOOGLERS, though seven months have passed, it is time for a new challenge:

Where does the Sun Still Shine, o IRON GOOGLER?Collapse )

And thus do I say:


3 comments|post comment

GOOGLE CHALLENGE!!! [19 Aug 2005|03:25pm]

It has been too long.

Time has passed, it has dulled our senses, made us weak, made us forget that WHO WE ARE. The STADIUM is quiet, and it longs for the clamour of its beloved IRON GOOGLERS and dedicated Acolytes. So too does your Chairman, mighty though he is, pine for your company. So now, in this dark hour, where but one more minute might have seen the Stadium crumble, or the even the MIGHTIEST OF GOOGLERS* forget his lofty title, I come to you... NAY! I BESEECH you... show me the pain of...

What do you want, oh REDWOOD amongst saplings?Collapse )
30 comments|post comment

FRIDAY CHALLENGE! [13 May 2005|04:43pm]

Swift moving like the wild gazelle, I, CHAIRMAN HAWKEYE, bring to you a brief interlude to brighten and speed up your Friday. SUCH GENEROSITY! Yes, friends, hold your mice in sweaty palms and free your keyboard of crumbs and bodily fluids – a challenge is nigh!

25 comments|post comment

GOOGLE CHALLENGE!!! [23 Mar 2005|03:17pm]

My Friends!!!

Too long have we been wandering, aimless in the long, dark night of the INTERWEB! Too long, have you, My Mighty GOOGLERs and Brave Acolytes been without a challenge, and too long have I, your Faithful CHAIRMAN, been without your skills and drive to WIN.

But, today, no longer. YES! Today, I bring you what you crave most - a CHALLENGE! A Challenge so deep, so broad, that it can but appeal to all. Today's theme is, well, if memory serves, a relatively new addition to the wondrous thing that is the English language, and a theme endorsed by none other than IRON GOOGLER Pr0n himself. A phrase born of our Glorious INTERWEB LIFESTYLE. Many who are fragged utter it with their dying breaths, many who look upon this very STADIUM think it, and today, it's what I want you to express. Yes, today, The Chairman calls out to GOOGLER and Acolyte alike and says...

[EDIT 1]It's not taken long, my friends, steel yourselves and proceed at your own risk! IRON GOOGLER Tops Aussie Shiela has come out swinging!
[EDIT 2] New Improved GOOGLE STADIUM, now not even REMOTELY WORK SAFE!

...Collapse )
30 comments|post comment

[18 Jan 2005|02:26pm]

Ok, I come in peace. On Thursday I'm teaching a four hour creative writing workshop with 10 to 14 year olds. I intend to use picture starters for one of the exercises. If my pictures are good, their minds will be blown into new universes of creative frenzy. In twenty years' time they'll win Nobel Prizes and send me chocolates at Christmas. If my pictures are lame, they will tear me limb from limb and eat my entrails for playlunch.

Who could I turn to but the good people of Google Stadium? Iron Googlers, help a sister in need!!!
21 comments|post comment

GOOGLE CHALLENGE!!! [17 Dec 2004|10:20am]

“Show me the search parameters,
And I will show you the man.”

Chairman Hawkeye

Greatings of this fine and worthy season to you all, my Excellent GOOGLERS and plucky Acolytes all! We now come face to face with the end of the year, a time for reflection and thought, and for excess and righteous hoe-downs – but remember, this is a time for our friends, a time…

For love.

It is in all our hearts, no matter how MIGHTY the IRON GOOGLER, no matter how DETERMINED the Acolyte! We should, all of us, be reaching out to those we care for and reminding them of just that fact. And so… I come to you today, as your Chairman, but also as your friend, to ask you, with great humility and devotion, to…

Yes, oh fine friend of many great journies?Collapse )
57 comments|post comment

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